Guest Dating Post - A Tinder Nightmare

Monday, 30 November 2015

One of my friends had the kind of Tinder experience that you only hear about in rumour.

The type that you go...omg this happened to my friend - how mental is that!

So I asked her to do a Guest Blog Post for me so I could share the story with you guys who love my dating blogs!

You can meet somebody tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing. Character does.

That’s the quote that flashed through my thoughts when a man that I had known less than 24 hours asked me if I wanted to go away with him. We’d been on one wine-fueled date, and I’d felt a connection I’d not felt for a long time. I was positive that he’d felt it too, as he told me that he wished he could know what I was thinking, laughed when I tried to be witty, caught my gaze and then held it there…Basically, he did everything that you wanted a date to do. If there was some sort of first-date exam, he passed with flying colours.

Looking back, it’s clear to see that he was just performing a series of well-rehearsed moves. Coming from a drama background, I should have been wise to his acting. Instead, I melted like the hopeless romantic that I am.

This guy, who I shall call Tim (although I want to use something a bit stronger, perhaps with 4 letters), entered and exited my life like a hurricane; an intense whirlwind that vanished before the dust could even settle, leaving me romantically traumatized in its wake.

So how did it happen? And, more importantly, why did I let it happen?

Let’s start with why. Before Tim entered my life, I’d been casually seeing a guy called “Adrian.” Frustrated with how slowly things were moving with him (9 dates over 2 months and still no sign of things moving forward), I’d decided to stop waiting for him to settle down and get myself back on the dating scene the easiest way I knew how – Tinder.

I spent the morning in bed, swiping left on many and right on a few, and low and behold, I matched with a handsome 31 year old. A few seconds later, he messaged me. We exchanged less than 4 sentences before he gave me his number so we could move onto Whatsapp.

Less that 10 minutes after I first texted him on Whatsapp, he asked me what I was doing that evening, and whether or not I wanted to watch the rugby with him. “Woah…this guy moves fast!” was my initial thought, but instead of being alarmed, I was actually kind of intrigued. After two months of patiently waiting for Adrian to pull his finger out, it was kind of refreshing to meet someone so forward. Normally, I like to talk to a guy for a few days, even weeks, before I meet up with them, but in this case I genuinely couldn’t think of a reason not to go. It was Friday, I had no plans, and I didn’t want to stay in. After consulting my friends, the general consensus was “YOLO – have a great time and be safe.”

Tim picked me up from my house at 7pm (first dating rule broken – Don’t get in cars with strangers! What an idiot I am…) in a shiny black Mercedes. I don’t like to think of myself as shallow, but his car kind of turned me on. After having one ex who had a driving ban (meaning I had to chauffeur him around for three and a half years), and another with a battered old Vauxhall with a dented bumper, the Merc was a refreshing change. I wasn’t blown away by Tim himself, as I remember thinking he looked a bit different from his pictures, but he seemed nice enough. Once we were at the pub, I sent a sneaky voice note to my girls’ WhatsApp group saying “I don’t know if I fancy him, or just his car.” The date itself couldn’t have gone better and, feeling slightly rambunctious after all of the wine, I agreed to go back to his on the condition that he was a perfect gentleman (second dating rule broken – NEVER go back on a first date!)

To his credit, Tim was a gentleman for the most part. He did try it on, but was respectful when I said that this was to be a strictly ‘PG’ sleepover.

In the morning, he drove me home and mentioned his business trip to Birmingham the following day. He asked me if I would like to accompany him but, thinking he must be joking, I just laughed it off.

Later that day, however, when he asked me again, I found it hard to think of reasons to say no. I mean, our first date had been totally spontaneous and had gone so well, I did fancy him and the thought of going away for a couple of days seemed exciting (even if it was to Birmingham!)

So, off we went. He picked me up the next morning (half an hour late and with a stinking hangover which I can probably conclude was the result of another wine-fuelled date with another girl just like me – great!) and we drove the four hours towards Birmingham. The thing that struck me most about that journey was the fact that it didn’t feel at all awkward. He made me feel so comfortable – as if I’d known him forever. He reached over and held my hand as he drove, kissed me at every red light and, when we stopped for a Burger King on the way, he stood behind me in the queue with his arms around my waist and told me that he was “never usually so touchy-feely with girls,” but that he felt so “comfortable” around me. (If you’ve ever watched Legally Blonde, the part where Elle Woods throws the box of chocolates at the TV while screaming “LIAR!” is so wonderfully apt at this point.) I’m usually pretty cynical when it comes to dating, but somehow I became engulfed in the romance of it all. In short – I trusted him.

Birmingham itself was a dream. Tim treated me amazingly well and I remember thinking “Wow – this is what I’ve been waiting for. This is what I deserve! Finally!” We went out for drinks and then a really nice Tapas dinner, then stumbled back to the hotel. Again, I asked Tim to be a gentleman, and again he was. I mean, we did do some stuff that night, but not the full monty (I was trying my best to remain a lady!)

In the morning, Tim went off to work, leaving me in bed at the hotel. He sent me cute messages all morning and I kind of felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (minus the prostitute part). I couldn’t wait for him to come back and, when he did, you can guess what happened (*insert monkey covering his eyes emoji*)

The rest of the trip continued in the same romantic fashion – walking through the city arm in arm in the rain, breakfast at the Bullring, then the long drive home. Tim was affectionate as always, and I was smitten.

Once I was at home, there wasn’t time for the “Will I hear from him again?” panic to settle in. I’d barely set foot in the door when Tim called my phone asking me to come to his because he’d somehow smashed his head in the garden. Flattered that I was his first point of call, my Florence Nightingale mode kicked in and I drove straight to his and accompanied him to A&E. I waited with him for 4 hours, and the whole time we cuddled up to each other the way we did in Birmingham. At this point, I’d only known him for 3 days, and yet I felt closer to him than I’d ever felt after 2 months with Adrian, or even 9 months with my ex.

After the A&E ordeal, I went back to Tim’s and he tucked me in on the sofa and made dinner for the both of us. It honestly felt like we’d been together for ages. Needless to say, I spent the night with him again.

Conscious that I would be going abroad that weekend for work, I wanted to see Tim as much as possible beforehand, so I said yes when he asked me to go round the following night. Again, I stayed over, meaning that I’d spent the last 4 out of 5 nights with him. Intense, right? The memory that most sticks out about that night, my final night with him, was the way that he kissed me goodnight (sadly, one of the best kisses I’ve ever had) and how we fell asleep holding hands. There in that bed with a man I barely knew, I just felt safe, secure and, most of all, happy. I never wanted to lose that feeling.

The next morning, however, I sensed a change in the atmosphere. Tim seemed distant and rushed. Everything about him seemed different, so I felt slightly deflated when I left his. Even more so when I didn’t hear from him at all that day. “He’s a grown up,” I told myself. “He has a busy job and he doesn’t have time to message you all the time.”

Well, not only did he have a busy job. It turned out that he had a whole secret life that I knew nothing about. The following day, I received a nasty wake up call: Tim’s girlfriend, AKA the mother of his 4-year-old daughter, had taken his phone and sent me a series of messages at 4am.

She sent me screenshots of conversations that Tim had been having with friends, apparently talking about me (or some other girl, as he seemed to be seeing a fair few!) in which he spoke about me in less than gentlemanly tones.

When I woke up and read the messages, the first thing I did was reply to see if she was still on Tim’s phone – she was. Next thing I knew, we were confiding in each other as if we were old friends. I told her everything – the hotel, how charming he was, how I had no idea that he had a girlfriend (I knew he had a child but he’d said that he was on excellent terms with the mother, and that we’d even get along great!) In return, she told me that she believed everything I said because this was not the first time that he had been caught cheating.

Apparently, he had first cheated when she was pregnant with their child, and she left him. A couple of years later they got back together, but it seems that he was now up to his old tricks. I found it hard to keep it together as I learnt that this man – who I’d somehow fallen for in less than a week – had over 1000 matches on Tinder, was speaking to what seemed like 100 of them and sleeping with probably half a dozen of them! I was absolutely gutted, disgusted and ashamed of myself for letting my guard down so easily.

This all happened about 2 months ago, and it’s taken me this long to write it down because I still get so angry when I think about it. Since the Tim fiasco, I’d really lost all hope in dating and genuinely believed for a short while that all of the eligible men out there are sociopaths that only want sex, and will do or say anything to get it. I know that this isn’t true, but when you’ve been duped that badly it’s hard not to tar everybody with the same brush, at least for a while.

Luckily, I think I’m pretty much over it now and ready to get back on the dating scene. This time, however, I’ll be a lot more cautious and I CERTAINLY won’t be going away with anybody anytime soon!

As for Tim, the last thing I heard from his girlfriend (who turned out to be an absolute sweetheart) was that she was leaving him – she didn’t want her 4-year-old to think it was ok for men to treat women like that, and too right! Nevertheless, I wish him the best of luck. Well, maybe not the best. I wish him well. Kind of.

Crazy huh? Now you can see why I asked her to write this down for me! It reminds me of that film The Other Woman - which by the way is one of my absolute favourites! 

If you have any Tinder Nightmare Stories tweet me or comment below! I'm nosey and I love to read them!

A Mini Winter Lush Haul

Friday, 27 November 2015

Last week iamaneesha and I went to Bluewater to do some Christmas shopping...but of course we actually only ended up getting stuff for ourselves!

I popped into Lush to get some of their Christmas treats

The first thing I got was a bottle of the Snow Fairy Shower Gel. I've never had this before, but its a cult Lush item at Christmas. It smells like bubblegum, candy floss, calpol deliciousness. And is the same smell as my next item.

The second thing I got was the Candy Mountain bubble bar

I love Lush bubble bars way more than bath bombs - I just like bubbles :)

On the Sunday I put a roast in the oven (domestic goddess...) and then jumped in the bath while it cooked!

I only use half, as I find that's all you need...and it means you get two baths out of one product!

I crumbled it under the tap to make all the bubbles!

The bubbles don't look all colourful and exciting..

But they smell amazing!

If only my Daddy hadn't turned off the hot water so that my bath was lukewarm...

The thanks I get for cooking a roast!

What's your favourite Lush Christmas product?

The new dating app - Hinge

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

I was hanging out with my cousins the other night discussing my dating life (I'm the token single one!) and one of them suggested a new dating app her friends were on.

I've been quite content with Bumble...but for the sake of blog research I downloaded it!

Hinge is meant to "cut the clutter, creeps and games"... which sounds like my type of app!

It basically only shows you people who are friends of friends on facebook. So you are meeting someone "the old fashioned way" through friends!

Of course you don't get to know whether your friends would recommend this person to you...or if they are just a random person they met on a night out at uni and are still fb friends with...

But I guess you could message your friend and say what do you think of this guy before swiping?

This app also shows the person's relationship status on facebook...and there is no way of not showing it. So it cuts out all those people who are in a relationship on facebook...or married and still play on tinder!

My issue is I completed hinge within about 5 minutes of swiping...and by completed I mean it ran out of people for me!

Maybe I'm uber picky? Or maybe this App is too new and there aren't enough people on it yet.

But it was an epic fail for me.

I'll be deleting it to make space on my phone I think!

Back to Bumble I go!

Recipe - Winter Warming Spiced Cider

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

This is my first Christmassy post - my brother mentioned Spiced Cider at the weekend...and I said that he should make it rather than buy here is the recipe!

A few years ago I went to my friend Rachel's house in Kent and we celebrated Thanksgiving! We had the most amazing food and drank spiced cider that her mum made.

I knew it was something I wanted to try at home so I've made it every winter since!

All you need is some cider, an orange, sugar and spices...not hard and it is lovely to drink sitting in front of the fire.

The first thing you need is cider.

I'm a lad so I used Strongbow

I used three cans which was enough for 4 people to have two mugs each.
I would do half a can per person really - or double that if everyone wants more than one large mugful.

Pour the cider into a saucepan...

Then you need an orange.

Cut off the peel in strips and put that in the pan
You don't want to grate the peel in or you will get bits of it in your mug and it will not be very nice!

You are then left with the main fruit of the orange.

Squeeze this into your cider...

Time for some spices...

My Dad has this really cool spice rack.
You twist the top of each one and then can either sprinkle, or pour, out the spices dependant on the size of the hole you twist it onto.

I think it is from Soho Spices

Or if it isn't they do very similar ones! 

The first thing you need is nutmeg. Fresh if possible but I won't hate you if you use it from a jar.

I just grated in a little bit (maybe 6 times back and forward on the grater - that is a guess!)
If you don't have a microplane need one - they are sooo good and you don't have to worry about getting the grating out of the middle of the grater!

Time for cloves - the most christmassy spice!

I put about 8 in...

I also added a star anise and some cinnamon bark.

This is basically a fancy version of a cinnamon stick.

A cinnamon stick is fine! 

Finally I added in two tablespoons of sugar.

Warm it all up and let it infuse for about 10 minutes...

(remember to have your chef's treat and give it a taste first to check whether it needs more of anything)

And then you have a lovely batch of spiced cider ready to ladle into mugs


Plus it makes the house smell lovely!

What's your favourite winter recipe? (Preferably alcoholic!) Comment below and let me know!

Glossybox for NARS

Friday, 20 November 2015

I was warned in advance... I had a reminder set in my diary... the day had come to get the Glossybox for NARS!

They came out on Monday morning at 9am and sold out in 27 minutes! But I got one!

Today a nice little surprise arrived in the post! Much quicker than expected!

It took a lot of effort to photograph this as I opened it rather than just get stuck into it!

NARS is one of my favourite brands of fact I think it is my favourite brand of makeup! 

So when I heard they were collaborating with Glossybox I had to have one!

I've ordered Glossyboxs in the past too, so I know and like the brand

If that isn't a beautiful sight I don't know what is!

 You receive five items in this box...

The NARS Audacious Mascara - which I cannot wait to try! NARS only have one mascara...because they think its that hopefully it is!
This is a 3ml tube and the full size is 8ml and retails at £21

The Larger than Life Long-Wear Eyeliner in Via Veneto - this is apparently a "cult classic" and a full size one retails for £19 and the one in this box is half size.

The Multiple in Orgasm - I have been eyeing up these multiples for so long and I'm so glad I now have one! You can use them for blush, lips and highlight and Orgasm is the shade most people know and love. The full size retails for £29 and they are 14g. This one is 4g but I imagine its the kind of thing that last you a while!

The Blush in Orgasm - this is definitely a cult classic. I think it might be one of the most sold blushes of all time by any brand? Full size retails for £23 for 4.8g of product...this sample is 3.5g so a massive sample!

Finally the Satin Lip Pencil in Rikugien Full size is £19 for 2.2g and this sample is 1.7g. I actually already have this colour as I got it in my Sephora birthday gift (haul here). I love it... but mine has gone blunt and it is really hard to find a sharpener they fit in! Might just take mine to a NARS counter and ask if they will sharpen it! Anyway I love this lip colour, I recommend!

Based on my calculations this box is valued at c.£57.20 Plus you get the cute NARS box to keep things in....definitely worth the £35 I spent on it!

Did you get your hands on the NARS Glossybox? Which is your favourite product...I think I'm going to love them all!

A Salsa Trip to Warsaw

Monday, 16 November 2015

If you've read my blog for a while you'll know that I've been doing Salsa for nearly two years.

In the Summer my Salsa group and I went to a Congress in Barcelona (blog here) and this November we went to Warsaw in Poland for another!

Packing for Warsaw was very different to packing for Barcelona!

I went all out (both vintage so don't kick up a fuss)

And the hat came in uber handy for the flight as an eyemask!

So practical!

We flew out from Stanstead at 6pm and arrived to pretty chilly temperatures!

But by midnight we were ready to salsa!

El Sol Salsa Festival is a pretty big deal...

Like I mean its big - look at all those people!

They had live bands playing salsa songs and there really is nothing like dancing to live salsa music! I think that was my favourite thing of the whole weekend!

We met up with the rest of our group and danced the night away until about 4.30pm

When some party pooper pictured above thought we should call it a night!

Actually a very sensible idea as we were up at 9 to have breakfast before the classes started!

I must say the view from our hotel was just stunning...

We did a couple of Bachata and Salsa classes and then the whole group went for lunch!

Before a few of us girls went to explore the city!

If you are ever in Warsaw please go to Same Fusy and sit downstairs

We had white mulled wine with orange and vanilla!

It was so good!

Such a cute little place, its all underground with lit fires 

and cute touches...

We got back to the hotel for 6pm ready for a two hour nap before salsa again

And my god I needed it!

We stopped for a quick dinner and then were ready to go again!

We danced until 5 and headed back ... with pretty sore feet

Not so sore though that we couldn't consider new shoes the next day!

When I first started I thought salsa shoes were so tacky...

Now the tackier, glitzier and bolder the better!

We did a few more classes and then headed to the airport to jet back to London ready for work Monday morning!

The flights were a £45 return and the hotel was really cheap too! I really should go away to Europe and enjoy more of it as it really isn't an expensive thing to do if you plan it right!

Next Salsa trip...India! Stay tuned!

Boots Haul - November 2015

Monday, 16 November 2015

Last week I popped into Boots to get some cotton buds... I obviously came out with more than just cotton buds!

It was three for two on makeup so I cant be blamed!

Here is what I got

This is a repurchase its the L'Oreal Infallible 24 Matte in the colour 20 Sand.

Now I'm going to have a little America you can get 12 shades of this the UK you can get 6, and this is the second darkest one! I just think its bad when brands don't cater to darker skintones...its a bit racist really!

Especially when in the US they have so many more shades. Why don't the UK get all those shades?

And also - here is the main problem the shades here are named as double figure numbers. Like Sand the US they are triple figure numbers like Sun Beige 106.

This means that if you go onto a foundation matching website like Findation they use the American you can't search what colour matches 20 Sand as it is the UK colour...this means that although this shade of foundation matches me perfectly I can't find out what the same colour would be in NARS Sheer Glow or Benefit Flawless Oxygen Wow...which I really want!

I find colour matching really hard and websites like Findation are amazing...but not if the UK are on a completely different makeup wave length to the US!

Sorry rant over - if anyone knows a colour that matches this foundation please let me know - even if I knew what its MAC equivalent was I could use that as a better guide. If this colour Sand matches you, please comment below and let me know what foundation you use!

Moving on...

I also got this Maybelline lipstick in the colour Divine Wine

I've been eyeing this colour up for a while and I love if for this time of year!

Here it is photographed in the light...

And the dark...

LOVE it!

Next is the i-Lust palette from Sleek

I got really excited about this and thought it would be in the same rose gold packaging as their new highlighters...

It's not, which is a shame...

But I can look past that

This palette has two cream shades, Margiela and Louis

Now looking at this I go wow - The shadows look beaut and I love that they've actually given you a brush with bristles rather than a double ended sponge one which I never use!

But actually swatching it, I was a bit disappointed

Here are pictures with and without a flash

Using it on your eyes is a different story though! (Thank God) The colours a really buildable and pigmented once applied...they just look a bit crap in a swatch.

When I bought this I didn't use it for a few days because I was so disappointed with the swatches...but now I've used it on my eyes I'm using nothing else!

Here is a look I did this weekend using it!

Have you bought any new drugstore makeup recently? Let me know if you have any recommendations!

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