A Dating Keenos Update

Monday, 2 November 2015

So back at the end of September I did a blog on Dating Keenos (link here). I promised once I'd made sure the Keenos were going nowhere I would update you with a proper story about it and some more details.

Obviously not all the details because I'm not that insensitive.

Lets start at the beginning and finish at the end...

So my friend told me that she knew a guy who would be great for me, and he sounded just my type!

She gave him my number and he text me on a Thursday and we chatted back and forth for a bit over the next 24 hours....

He was based abroad for 6 weeks so I knew we wouldn't see each other for a while and I kind of expected him to say "I'll message you when I'm home". As we know from my two dates blog (link here) I don't really like when guys try and chat loads over text before you've met...I'd rather go on dates and meet in person.

Anyway...he didn't say I'll message you when I get home...

Instead whilst texting on the Friday he asked what I was doing that night. I was just having a night in so I told him that.

Then he suggested we Facetime...

I'd already told him I had no plans so I didn't feel like I could say no!

So we Facetimed....

For about half an hour.

Very odd seeing someone on your screen who you've never met, but we got on pretty well and I hung up feeling quite positive about it.

He said he wasn't looking just to sleep around or make a friend and he also said he didn't understand when guys got jealous of their girlfriends and were really controlling (something I don't love in a man!)

So I was quite pleased... but here is where things start to get intense.

That night when I went to bed he sent me a message saying he would "love to be in bed with me and cuddle up to me..."

My bed is MY bed...I'm quite protective over it because I barely ever share it with anyone, so I was unsure from this point (about 30 hours after he'd first been given my number!)

He also made comments about kissing me when he saw me and he was excited about what was going to happen between us.

Just all a bit intense!

The next day we Facetimed again (his suggestion not mine as I was painting my room and didn't have any makeup on!)

This time the Facetime was only a couple of minutes as he had the weekend off and was heading off to the pool.

This is where things get weird....

I threw in a few texts trying to put him off, saying that I'd have to meet him in person before he even considered kissing me or "spooning me in bed" but I don't think he got it

So because of the time difference there were points when he had had drinks and I was just going about my daily life...without drinks.

So maybe we can blame the drinks...but there were more comments "I can't wait to jump on you and kiss you before bed" things along those lines...

And then...

He text me saying "I've already told three girls at the pool I have a girlfriend referring to you"

Lets just remember the fact we'd never met...and this was only the Sunday and he'd first text me on the Thursday.

Now I don't really want a boyfriend at the moment in general. So to suddenly have someone claiming me like that freaked me out!

So I told him so...I figured I'd be honest!

I told him that the girlfriend comment and saying he missed me was too intense so soon!

And he apologised saying he didn't want to push me away or scare me.

So I thought I'd done the right thing and he'd back off

But obviously he didn't get the hint! The blatant obvious hint.

By the Wednesday the keeno texts were slipping back in. He couldn't wait to be on "his side of my bed" (excuse me?), he "couldn't wait to have me in his life", I'd "make a wonderful girlfriend".

So I had to be brutal.

A week since he first messaged me (a week - ONE week)

I messaged him saying that I couldn't start anything over phones and it was all moving too fast, so I didn't want him to message me until he got back to the UK 5 weeks later.

I was still willing to give him a date when he got back, if he just left me alone for those five weeks.

He replied promising not to message me so I breathed a sigh of relief!

Not for long though...2 weeks later he messaged me again asking if we could plan our date for the day after he got back from his trip.

I wanted to reply saying "sorry I can't date a man who doesn't keep him promises" but I left it and just ignored

Then again...two and a half weeks later asking to start fresh and saying he wouldn't be keen when we met up.

At this point there was no chance of us meeting up!

So I ignored again....

A week later!

(For God's sake)

He called me...

I jumped away from my phone in case I accidentally pressed accept!

And then shortly after received a text using every line in the book:

"You can't deny we got on"
"Just one date"
"You have nothing to lose (which he spelt wrong) everything to gain)"
"You only live once"
"Life's too short not to take chances"
"I'm really not that bad"
"I promise it won't be a waste of your time"

Honestly...everyone of those things was in one text!

So it was time for me to pipe up and sort this out I'm going to put in my actual text here because I was quite pleased with it!

I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to go on a date with you. I mentioned on the 6th September that I didn't like the keenness ... Then again on 10th September and you promised not to message me and that you'd let me message you when you were back. If you scroll up you'll see you've done the complete opposite. I would have messaged you and given you another chance but this is too much. I don't want to be too blunt but at the same time I don't want to make some excuse. We've never met and don't know each other at all so I just want to cut this off now. Sorry if I'm being rude but it's just how I feel

I questioned whether I'd been too blunt...but I felt it was needed - sometimes with men you have to spell it out!

Fortunately he was pleased I'd been honest and to the point and said more women should be blunt with people! So he wished me luck with the dating and said he'd never meant to come across as a Keeno.

Lets hope this really is the end!

So what have I learnt from this dating experience...

I think you learn something from every experience

Maybe from this one I learnt that meeting someone through a setup doesn't mean its going to work anymore than if you meet someone on a dating app.

Perhaps the ones you meet on dating apps might be better!

And also ladies, be blunt, be honest say what you think. Don't string people along because you don't want to hurt their feelings and don't go on any dates you don't want to just because someone is trying to convince you its a good idea.

Just be honest with yourself, understand what you want and enjoy dating.

Rather than letting the above story scare you!

The bad thing is...if social media or phones didn't exist we might have been set up on a date and talk for the first time on a date rather than on facetime and get on... but we'll never know!

Love From


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