The worries of a 24 year old single girl

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Yesterday I posted an article on facebook called "Why 20 Something Women Need to Stop Thinking Like 30 Something Women"

My Mum then posted on it saying how talented I was at blogging and then my Dad sent me a text saying how "outstanding" my blog was.

Erm bit awkward that it wasn't mine! 

I definitely can't take credit! However, I thought the topic was interesting. 

I think I had my first proper boyfriend when I was 14... 10 years ago. When I was at school I went straight from one boyfriend to the other, I was never single and if I was it was very short term. 

I think the first time I was single was when I was about 20. I had met my boyfriend on my ski season and he lived in Scotland so trying to keep it going was difficult. He then went off on another ski season the following year and was really busy. He was lovely but the travelling was difficult and he was really busy. He ended up forgetting to text or call me on my 20th birthday so I was fed up and we broke up. I think I was single for a couple of months but again it didn't last long.

I am one of those people who just likes to be in a relationship. I love having someone to tell how my day has been and ask about theirs, I love having someone to come home to and fall asleep next to, I love cooking dinner with someone and drinking a glass of wine while we cook and I love always having someone to speak to.

I thought I had found "The One" and obviously I wouldn't have said yes to his proposal unless I had thought he was "The One". It turns out he isn't and I am glad I found out now rather than after we got married or once we had children.

The problem is, I am now properly single for probably the first time ever. It has been about six months so I've had the thoughts that this article mentions.

"What if no one ever wants to marry me again"
"What if I leave it too long and I can't have children"
"What if I meet someone who I think is perfect and they don't want to have children?"
"What if I'm infertile and don't know it!?"
"What if I never meet "The One"?"
"If I do get engaged again (if anyone ever wants to ask me), what if it isn't as special because I've been through it before?"

A few of those definitely aren't mentioned in that article but they are certainly fears that I have had over the past six months - can you tell that I want to have children (one day)?!?

Maybe I should just get some cats and accept singleness forever! Funnily enough I plan to get a cat once I am settled into my new flat! But I hope I won't become a crazy cat lady.

Luckily although I've had those thoughts I don't believe them. Not deep down, even though they raise they're ugly heads now and again. I feel like I have taken singleness by the horns and am doing it right. I have plans every night with friends, I say yes to plans I never would have before and I have been on a few dates. 

One of my best friends is 32. She had really long term relationships in her 20s, people she thought were "The One" and when I met her when she was 28 she was single. She now lives with her boyfriend of two years and he is such a wonderful guy. They are an amazing couple and it just shows that breakups happen for a reason because you don't know who you will meet one day. And that day might not be in your 20s. It might not be in your 30s! 

To be honest I still hope mine is in my 20s but heyho. If it isn't then it isn't the end of the world. I have amazing friends and I can tell them how my day has been and ask how theirs has been. I can see them in the evening and sometimes even fall asleep next to them. I can cook dinner with them and drink wine and I can always call one of them if I ever need to speak to someone.

If I was a Sex and the City character I would definitely be Charlotte York. 

I'm not saying I'm going to give up the hunt and just hang out with my friends the whole time. I still want to find him and I know I will I'm just not freaking out about it quite so much any more. I am only 24 after all! 

Although in an ideal world I would like to have a baby before I'm 30...and I would want a couple of years of being married before I have a child so I need to get married at 28...and I've learnt my lesson that you don't get engaged after one year of knowing maybe I'd want to know them three years. So I need to meet them by the time I am I have six months...SHIT!!!

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