Dating Disasters

Friday, 23 May 2014

So I wrote yesterday that I might do a dating stories post. I spoke to my friend at dinner about it last night and we recalled a few bad ones so I thought I would fill you in!

So... once upon time I (for some unknown reason) decided that dating a chav would be acceptable. I'm not talking "a bit chavvy" I mean full on matching tracksuits, hideous pimped up vauxhall something or other with a huge exhaust pipe and a moped. This was bad. My parents knew it, my friends knew it and really I knew it too.

At the time my best friend and I LOVED playboy, clothes, jewellery you name it. Basically we just wanted to go live in the mansion and be playboy bunnies, and wearing the brand was the closest we could get. This chav man LOVED me in my playboy tracksuit so I ended up wearing it quite a lot:
<< There I am...what a stunner. That picture was actually only taken a couple of years ago. My friend and I were having a trip down memory lane!

Anyway the above is just the background. We went on one of our first dates and he took me to PizzaHut. Bearing in mind I HATE cheese and have not stepped in a PizzaHut since I was about 7 when people at school had parties there, I was not impressed.
He proceeded to order a massive cheesey disgusting pizza whilst I was stuck with a chicken starter. He then made me split the bill so I had to pay for half of his pizza - the smell of which made me want to gag!
It didn't last long after that, he was certainly not my type!!

Not really a horror story date but I don't think you understand how much I dislike cheese...

Second story... I've moved to London I'm 20 and I'm out in ChinaWhite with my friend. Two guys came up to us and we started chatting blablabla. It gets to the point where I'm dating one and my flatmate is dating the other. My flatmate and I were going on holiday and at the same time that the guys were going away to somewhere different...the whole holiday we don't hear from either guy. Then when we get back the one my flatmate was dating told us the story of their holiday!

The 5 guys who were going away had all transferred their money to my guy and he was meant to book the holiday. The DAY they are due to fly out my guy turns up and says that he didn't actually book the holiday and he had spent ALL of their money!! I went out to Aura that Thursday and ran into all of this guys friends who told me the whole story. They also mentioned the fact that the guy I had been seeing was dating 5 other girls! One of every day of the week and then one day off! I messaged him that night to say I'd seen his friends and unsurprisingly we didn't see each other again. He obviously knew they would have told me the story. He's since tried to add me on facebook again but I'm pretty damn sure I'm not going to be accepting that request!

Next... this one is brief. I went out for dinner with this guy, all very pleasant. We asked for the bill at the end of the meal and I nipped to the loo. When I came back he had put some cash in the little leather bill thingy and it was sticking out and placed on the edge of the table (you know how you do so that the waitress can see it). Bearing in mind he didn't mention the bill for the next few minutes whilst we waited for the waitress, I just assumed he was paying for it. We were going for drinks afterwards so I was going to pay for those.

Now I know it is wrong to assume the man will pay and I do always offer or at least always buy drinks before or after. But on this occasion I assumed he was paying because of the above. Anyway the waitress comes along and takes the bill, she then comes back to tell us that there isn't enough money to pay the bill. He had put down his half and just left it there! I then awkwardly had to apologise and give the waitress my card.
It made me feel so uncomfortable. I didn't mean to assume he was paying but as he didn't bring it up or even show me the bill I didn't realise I was meant to put down cash too.
Probably very bad of me...I've never made that mistake again but my god it was awkward.

Fourth one...
So I get a message on facebook from a guy I used to go to school with, he was now a banker in London and because of this story will be forever known as the original BankerW@nker. He asked me on a date and he did plan it pretty well.
We went to Barrafina which is seriously nice tapas - I recommend! It's quite pricey though.
It was a bit odd though because he refused to eat because he never ate after 4pm. He also went to the gym at about 5am every morning. This would never have worked out... I like lie ins and cooking dinner so it was hardly a  match made in heaven.

We then went to the Experimental Cocktail Club. This place is hidden behind a door in ChinaTown, so unless you know where it is you can't go. Everyone seems to know about it now though so its not quite so special any more but it is seriously cool. Again pretty pricey.

So this date all in all was a success, he was cute, although he was a blonde and I definitely prefer dark haired men.
It was the fourth or fifth date with him which was the bombshell...
We went shopping and then for drinks (all very civilised). Then, whilst having drinks, he dropped the bombshell on me that he actually already had a girlfriend and she lived in America..AND he was flying out to see her that weekend.

What on earth is wrong with people!!!

I also:
had a boyfriend forget to call or text me ON MY BIRTHDAY
had someone cheat on me on holiday and then write a magazine article about it! Not sure how he planned to keep that quiet....
had a boyfriend become facebook friends with a girl whilst I was on holiday WITH HIM and them him message her after the holiday...
got dumped in a pub for not being "marriage material" (pretty insulting I must say)
had a boyfriend use the phrase "it would be nice if you were slimmer"
had a guy call me f-ing fat (is there a theme developing!?) - the only time I've ever punched anyone in the face and I'm still proud of it - he tried to hit me back which shows the kind of guy he was! He also called me the c word...very polite man
had a boyfriend turn up at 11pm on valentines day! The reason he was late?? He'd been at a strip club...

I repeat "What on earth is wrong with people!!!"

My recent dating history has been much better - things are looking up!!


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